


The Night Before

by GeekyCat



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 20:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4363304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekyCat/pseuds/GeekyCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story told from both perspectives of the Wardens and Alistair and their thoughts and feelings about their journey, and each other, the night before the battle of Denerim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Night Before

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this story in my head since my first play through of Origins and have finally got round to putting it down on (virtual) paper.  
> I'd like to thank my fiancé Chris and friend Matt for proof reading and suggestions!  
> This is my first fan fiction so comments are welcome. Enjoy!

_Have you ever wondered why the Grey Wardens are needed to defeat the Archdemon?_

Riordan’s words had repeated through his mind since he had returned to his room in the Arl’s Estate. Now even lying on the most comfortable bed he had for months he couldn’t find sleep. 

_Why hadn’t he considered it?_ Maybe he had and he’d been denying it to himself all this time. Of course there was a reason the Grey Wardens were needed, and not just for their superior strength and speed. It had to be something to do with the taint inside them. He just wished it wasn’t this. 

Alistair lifted his arm from over his eyes and stared at the finely decorated canopy above. The intertwining red and gold vines briefly reminded him of something that made him smile and for a moment he considered just sleeping where he lay in his armour. The bed creaked slightly as if reading his mind, so he forced himself to sit up and began digging through his pack for a tunic and some trousers. 

His fingers brushed against something tangled in the folds of a garment, untwisting it he pulled out the small wooden figure of an elven woman, dressed in robes. Her hair was swept back into a braid and one of her arms was raised in front of her as if casting a spell - or trying to reach someone, he mused. Alistair turned the figure from side to side as he looked at it. Kaya had given this to him. She had found him by the fire one night just as people were retiring to their tents. She had stood in front of him twisting the figure nervously between her hands, and spluttered that she thought he might like it before quickly walking away to her tent. 

Smiling at the memory, his thoughts drifted to her. She had changed so much during their journey, circumstance had forced her to - from the naïve, sheltered mage to a strong willed leader. She had been what the group needed when he had been unable to. 

As Riordan’s words hit his ears his gaze had flicked to her. She looked dazed, her mouth slightly opened as if about to speak, her green eyes studied the floor and for a second the innocent mage he met at Ostagar returned. Then her gaze hardened and caught his, she’d lifted her chin and straightened. His heart had sunk at that gesture; he knew that was the posture she took when she had made up her mind about something. Usually something which was reckless and dangerous. 

Like taking the final blow herself.

He shook his head to clear it. He wouldn’t let her. 

Crossing to the basin he threw the clothes onto a dresser and began to fill the sink. Thankfully the water was still warm; the young servant girl that had brought him the canteen had curtsied deeply as she left announcing that “if his majesty needed anything else, he only had to ask”. Alistair was sure Eamon had told her to say that, as if to give his future title an airing. 

The water felt good on his skin as he scrubbed away a few days’ worth of dirt. Maybe he should go and talk to her. Perhaps he could convince her not to do it, or maybe he should order her to stay behind - after all, he was going to be king. He glanced up at the mirror, studying his reflection. The Theirin nose and jaw were there as proof of his heritage. No, she would just laugh at the fact he was trying to order her around and tell him his duty was to Ferelden. Hischest suddenly ached at the thought of all the things that would change after tomorrow. 

No more hearing her laugh at Oghren’s drunken jokes; no more listening to her sing along with Leliana as they prepared supper, or watching her chew her bottom lip when she was concentrating. 

He had grown to adore her. That delicate nose and lips coupled with that chestnut brown hair. She always wore it scraped back into a messy pile on the back of her head; always, except for one night. 

_The smell of roasted meat and ale drifted out from the tavern. The group were at Lake Calenhad docks and the promise of a good meal and decent rest was too much to pass on._

_“We will be fine as long as we blend in and don’t make a scene” Kaya had said._

_“That should be easy,” he had chimed in “Two wanted Grey Wardens with a Mabari, a Qunari, two mages, a bard, an assassin and Oghren. We’ll just say we’re a travelling circus act.”_

_“In Antiva people would pay a great deal of coin to see that sort of show, my friend” Zevran had said with a mischievous smile._

_Kaya had been right though, apart from a few odd looks as the group had entered no one had approached them except the barmaid._

_After paying board for a night and quickly freshening up Alistair, Sten and Zevran occupied a table waiting for the rest of the group to appear. Sten sat with his back against the wall, arms crossed against his chest. Zevran was flirting with the barmaid as she brought drinks and took their food order. Asking for bowls of soup and platters of meat, cheese and bread Zevran also enquired, if possible, could she lay her hands on some cookies. Stens’ eyes had lit up at that. Oghren was leaning heavily against the bar, already on his third ale._

_Alistair sipped at his own. It had been a long time since he’d drunk alcohol and he could already feel the effects. The three piece band in the corner struck up another song and groups of drunken men began to sing along. Leliana snuck into the chair next to Zevran and Wynne appeared with a glass of wine in hand. Oghren staggered over to the group and fell into a spare chair. Morrigan had yet to appear but he doubted she would._

_She’s probably out hunting her own dinner, he thought wryly_

_Alistair drained the remains of his ale and scanned the room for Kaya. His eyes widened as he caught sight of her, winding her way from the stairs to the group. She was dressed in a deep scarlet robe with gold trim and detailing all over. The cut of the neckline revealed the tops of her shoulders and collarbone. The sleeves were long and the entire outfit clung to her slim frame, but it was her hair that he had noticed first. Instead of the usual heap, it hung past her shoulders, freshly washed and dried so it curled ever so slightly at the ends. The normal chestnut was replaced with a mix of reds and browns as the lamps in the tavern threw their light onto her. Every time she turned her head a rainbow of colours would shimmer through it. She sat in the chair next to Leliana and look towards him smiling shyly. He knew he was staring but he couldn’t help it; her gaze held him and he found himself grinning back at her. She smiled more, a genuine smile that made her eyes sparkle and his heart beat faster. Suddenly Leliana leaned over to talk to her and the spell was broken. Letting out a breath, he forced himself to concentrate on the conversation the others were having. Oghren was telling a story about the time he had fought and beaten several other dwarfs for calling him a nug humper. Alistair listened with one ear but his eyes kept glancing back to Kaya. The food was served and everyone dug in, but distracted as he was he failed to notice the wheel of cheese on one of the platters. When the group dispersed for the night he hadn’t managed to eat one piece of it and for the first time in his life, he found that he didn’t mind._

He had gone to bed that night and dreamt of her and over time his feelings had deepened. He’d often wondered if she felt the same but had never found the right moment to ask. Crossing the room he dug through his pack once more and retrieved a wooden box. Opening it, he gently picked up the rose and held it in front of him. 

_So why not now? Why didn’t he find out if she felt the same? After all, he may not get another chance_ . He twirled the rose absently between his fingers. 

_But what if she did feel the same, what then? If one of them was to take the blow tomorrow, could he bear to abandon her after telling her he loved her? He closed his eyes, images of her raced through his mind - face streaked with tears, her head buried in her arms as sobs wracked her body. It wasn’t an image that he relished, but he would rather have her survive, grieve and have the chance of finding happiness again than to lose her after all she had done for him. It may seem selfish, and maybe it was, but if she believed she would take the final blow he would find a way to stop her. No matter what, he would stop her._

Letting out a breath, he pushed himself up from the bed; a few strides took him to the door. Clutching the box in one hand, he took another deep breath, swung the door open, and stepped out into the hallway. 

_-_

Kaya hardly recognised her reflection in the mirror. Dark circles were forming under her eyes, her skin, once pale from a life in the tower, had browned in the sun and freckles she never knew existed had bloomed on her cheeks and nose. A scar running along her jaw was a permanent reminder of the Brood Mother they had once faced. 

She ran slender fingers through her freshly washed hair, ignoring the pull when they found a tangle. As she worked, her mind relived the last few days. 

The Landsmeet had gone better than she thought. The moment Alistair had been confirmed as king, her thoughts had turned to orchestrating the final battle and trying to improve their small chance of victory. Then Riordan’s words had complicated things even further. 

Suddenly a sob escaped her, then another, soon her body jerked uncontrollably as tears and breathless cries poured from her. Every decision she had made, every nightmarish situation they had found themselves in played out in front of her eyes. 

_Had it all been for nothing?_ _Had they accomplished all of this only to fall at the final hurdle?_

The sobs finally eased and Kaya wiped the remaining tears from her eyes, trying to compose herself. She hadn’t cried like that for quite a while. When they had been travelling she’d needed to remain strong for the group. She had managed to grab a few moments alone here and there to scream at the sky or cry into her bedroll, but mostly she had kept it hidden. 

All of them had been so dependent on her and tomorrow would be no different. She would lead them into battle and when the time came, sacrifice herself to end the blight. 

When Riordan had told them what it meant to be a Grey Warden she had felt Alistair’s gaze on her. When she had met his eyes she knew what he was thinking - it was exactly the same as her. 

_I’ll be the one to do it_

Except she wouldn’t let him. She wouldn’t let the man she loved throw his life away when he had the future of an entire kingdom resting on his shoulders. 

_She loved him_ . That still sounded so alien to her, even though she had realised her true feelings months ago: 

_The Imperial Highway stretched before them. The group had travelled most of the day and were seeking somewhere to make camp when Alistair shouted the first warning._

_Darkspawn. The group had spilled out from forests onto the dusty track and a battle had ensued. A mix of mainly Genlocks, Hurlocks and a couple of Emissarys pushed the group up against a cluster of large rocks. Leliana scaled as high as she could, picking off darkspawn with her bow. Oghren and Sten swung their weapons in large arcs, but the more darkspawn they despatched the more seemed to take their place._

_Lelianas’ scream of warning could just be heard above the din of battle as an Ogre charged its way towards the group. A few of her arrows stuck into it flesh but it didn’t slow. The Ogre continued it rampage, knocking its kin aside as it headed for the nearest thing it could see._

_Alistair._

_He pulled his sword from a Hurlock and turned as the ogre collided into him; tumbling through the air, he landed in a crumpled heap by the base of a tree._

_Kaya felt her heart stop as she saw him twist in the air and hit the ground. Gathering her rapidly depleting mana she conjured an ice storm around the Ogre. It roared in defiance but the storm slowed it just enough for the others to compose themselves. Taking the opportunity she sprinted towards the tree were Alistair lay. As she ran she heard the whistling of arrows and felt the tingle of magic being cast. The ground shuddered and she assumed it was the ogre finally collapsing into the dust._

_A Genlock turned as she darted past, its face contoured into a nasty grin as it swiped with its dagger. Kaya side stepped, the blade just slicing her robe. But as she dodged, her feet tangled and she hit the ground. As she looked up, the Genlock lunged towards her. A bright flash briefly blinded her and the Darkspawns skin began to blister. Its eyes bulged and its skin turned black. Its hideous features briefly showed panic as a gargled howl left its mouth._

_Morrigan stood with her staff pointed in their direction, the remains of a lightning bolt fading from its tip. Kaya managed to nod in thanks, and pushed herself up._

_Her breath was ragged, her brow dripping with sweat as she finally collapsed to the ground beside Alistair. He lay on his side and she struggled to pull him up into a sitting position. His breathing was shallow but he was alive. She checked him over; his breastplate was spilt and his face was scratched and bloodied from the contact with the ground. Footsteps rapidly approached and Wynne appeared at her side._

_“He’s alive,” Kaya panted, moving aside to let the healer through._

_Wynne nodded but as she turned to face Kaya her expression changed to one of distress. Following her friends gaze, Kaya glanced down at her own body, where a dark green secretion was seeping through a hole in her robes. Blackness began to cloud her vision as hands rushed forward to steady her and then nothing._

_The first thing she registered was a throbbing pain. Slowly she opened her eyes, trying to focus. A canvas roof filled her vision, then shelves with bits of armour, silver plates, wooden sculptures and other treasures. Slowly it dawned on her: she was in Bodahns’ wagon. The cot she occupied was made for a dwarf but had been crudely extended with a crate to give her enough leg space. Turning her head she realised she wasn’t alone. Slumped against a stack of boxes with pillows and blankets strewn around him was Alistair. Carefully she began to push herself up, grunting in pain as she did. His eyes fluttered open at the sound and with surprising speed he scrambled to her side and helped her into a sitting position._

_“Thank the Maker you’re awake.” He gently placed his hand over hers and lowered his eyes. “I’m so sorry, it was all my fault. If I’d been more aware of the ogre then you wouldn’t have been poisoned”_

_“Wait, poisoned?” Her voice was rough and dry. Alistair handed her a water skin from the nearby table and nodded. Kaya took a few sips and handed it back to him. Placing it back on the table he continued._

_“Yes, one of the darkspawn had something on his dagger that was basically eating you from the inside.” He visibly shuddered. “When I came to, I didn’t know what to do. Everyone was frantic, even Sten was concerned. All I could do was pray you’d wake up.”_

_Kaya smiled and reached out to cup his cheek. His stubble was rough on her skin. Judging by the length she had been out for a few days. “It’s ok, Alistair, I’m still here, aren’t I?”_

_The worry lines on his forehead eased slightly and he relaxed into her hand. “I thought I’d lost you.” He reached with his other hand and gently pushed some strands of hair from her eyes. “I never want to experience that feeling again.”_

_Kaya smiled and gently stroked his cheek with her thumb. Her gaze unconsciously flicked from his eyes to his lips and a thought of finding out what they tasted like entered her mind._

_A few moments passed and the intimacy of the situation suddenly struck them. Blushing, they each pulled their hands away._

_Alistair coughed and stood. “Well I had better go and tell everyone that you’re awake and help Sten get firewood and I think Leliana wanted me to help cook dinner, though she knows I can’t cook…”_

_He trailed off and turned to leave._

_“Alistair?”_

_He turned back slightly and looked towards her, the blush still evident on his face._

_“Thank you for watching over me” she said quietly. Alistair smiled as he disappeared out of the wagon._

Kaya pushed her hair back up onto her head and secured it, smoothing it down as best as she could. The next day Leliana had told her Alistair hadn’t been as helpless as he appeared and had surprised everyone by stepping into the leader’s role. He’d helped Zevran and Leliana prepare the herbs to fight the poison, aided Wynne in changing her dressing and feeding her as well as keeping the daily routine going of collecting firewood and refreshing supplies. He’d even taken a watch with Morrigan one night when everyone else was exhausted. Over the next few days her feelings for him had changed, her heart warmed when she thought of the care he’d given her and how he’d been there for the group when it was needed. He had shown himself more than capable of leading and making his own decisions. So when the discussion of putting Alistair forward at the Landsmeet had been broached she hadn’t pushed him to accept. 

This was also why she hadn’t confessed her feelings to him. If he reciprocated her feelings surely this new assertive Alistair, the one that had cared for her and confidently taken the throne, would come to her and tell her he loved her. She’d tried to give him opportunity to make such a move; during a rare stay at a tavern, Leliana had insisted that she spend some time preening, to show him that she was a woman first and a Warden second. The memory of a blushing Alistair grinning at her from across the table made her smile, but she was still no closer to knowing how he felt. 

Kaya crossed to sit on the edge of the bed, absent-mindedly chewing on her bottom lip. The night was slowly slipping away. _Perhaps she should just go and confess everything to him?_

Her heart skipped. 

_What if he loved her too?_ He wouldn’t let her take the final blow, at least not voluntarily, Alistair wasn’t that type of man. She would have to save him by betraying him at the last moment. Kaya held her head in her hands. The tears threatened to return; she couldn’t win in this situation. 

She was so lost in thought that she didn’t hear the knock at the door until it came louder the second time. Quickly she wiped the gathering tears away and straightened herself. As she opened the door, a figure stepped inside. 

“You and I need to talk” 

_-_

_How had he managed to get back here?_ His legs had disobeyed him. Instead of striding off down the hall towards Kaya’s room he now stood with his forehead resting against the closed door of his own. 

He had made to move away from the door but then the sound of footsteps and a door opening had echoed along the hallway, and his nerve had failed him. 

He slammed his hand against the door frame, harder than anticipated. Cursing under his breath, he shook the pain from his hand, urging himself to breathe. 

_I’ve fought darkspawn, been tempted by demons and survived nearly a year travelling throughout Ferelden without being killed by bandits. How can this be so hard in comparison?_

He slumped in a nearby armchair and ran his hands through his hair. The pain in his hand had eased though his head was now beginning to throb. Kaya would tease him and say it’s because he’d been thinking. 

Leaning back, he stared up at the ceiling. 

_Should he even tell her?_ After all, if by some miracle they did both survive tomorrow, he was to be king and she was a mage. There was little chance for a future together. His duty would take him away from the Wardens and hers further into their ranks. 

Pushing himself up Alistair began to pace the room, cursing the logical part of his mind. _What did he want?_

He crossed to the window and pressed his palms against the cold glass. Breathing deeply he steadied himself, outside, rain had begun to fall and tapped against the pane. It was a soothing rhythm, accompanied by the wind rattling the trees in the courtyard below. He looked up at the moon, realizing it was nearing midnight. The army would march at first light, he should try to sleep. Sighing heavily he thought about how he had always been quite passive in his actions not willing to take the lead unless absolutely necessary. But after the disastrous meeting with his half-sister, Kaya had told him he needed to be more assertive and put his needs first for a change. So he would. He needed to know either way. If he went to the Makers side tomorrow, he wanted to go with no regrets. 

\- 

Kaya closed the door and leant heavily against it. 

_Had that really just happened?_ She numbly walked back to the bed and collapsed onto it, replaying the conversation in her mind. 

_“You and I need to talk”_

_Kaya watched as Morrigan stepped into the room. “Oh? What about?”_

_“Yours and the fool Templar’s situation” Morrigan said, moving towards the window and peering out into the gardens below. She was silent for a moment, then, her amber eyes darted back towards Kaya. “I know why a Grey Warden is needed to defeat the Archdemon, and I can offer a solution.”_

_“Really?” Kaya perched back on the edge of the bed, a mix of hope and distrust in her voice. “And what solution would that be?”_

_Morrigan turned to face her completely and smirked. “Me.”_

_The rest of the conversation had washed over her. It had been mostly one sided; Kaya had only been able to muster the occasional question._

_“Why do you think I can convince Alistair to do this?”_

_“We both know that tomorrow he will play the white knight and charge into battle to save you from the sacrifice, if he has the chance. Tis clear to everyone he has feelings for you, so use that against him. Tell him that if he loves you he will do this rather than the alternative.”_

_Kaya’s head snapped up at that. “You think Alistair loves me?” The words almost stuck in her throat._

_Morrigan rolled her eyes._

_“I do not know if it is love, but sometimes I see him looking at you like that hound of yours looks at a freshly cooked steak.”_

_With that she made to leave, but turned as she reached the door._

_“I will be in my room until dawn. If you want to save both the fool and yourself, then bring him to me.”_

Her head thumped as she thought. She had a solution. A ritual. That was all it was. A ritual that would result in a baby with the soul of an Archdemon, but a ritual nonetheless. A way to save them both. But would Alistair do it? Would she be able to ask him to? 

Rain drummed against the window; the only sound in the room was the pop and crackle of the fire. 

He would laugh at her, tell her that Morrigan was lying. Of course he would, that would be her reaction if the tables were turned. Nevertheless, with the increased chance of survival being dangled in front of her, her drained mental state and the rapidly vanishing night she trusted Morrigan’s words. She may have her own twisted reasons for this ritual but Kaya’s thoughts settled on one fact and one fact alone. She could save the man she loved. 

Gathering her courage, she pushed herself up from the bed and forced her legs to walk until she stood outside his door. 

What would she say? 

She would explain it like Morrigan had, though perhaps not mention that the ritual would conceive a child. He would see reason and if he didn’t then she would keep him out of the battle by any means necessary. As she raised her fist to knock, the door flew open. Her eyes widened as Alistair stared back at her. Forgetting everything she was going to say, she stood dumbfounded, staring into those hazel eyes. 

\- 

She was there. 

Kayas’ hand was poised a few inches away from the door, clenched into a fist about to knock. Her eyes widened slightly as she registered him standing in the doorway. Alistair noticed they were bloodshot, and dark circles had begun to appear under them. Her hair was once again pulled back into a messy heap at the back of her head but despite this she still looked beautiful. He went to speak, to make a joke, anything but no sound emerged. Kaya dropped her hand to her side and found her voice first. 

“I’m sorry Alistair, I hope I didn’t wake you. Would I be able to come in? I need to talk to you about something.” 

Alistair nodded, finally finding his voice. 

“Yes, of course,” he swallowed heavily. “I’ve got something I need to tell you too.” 


End file.
